Banana Peels and Squids

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been busy. Now about the title-

Banana Peels- I work at a local high school part time. Basically, I'm a substitute teacher. Most days I enjoy my job. Then there are those days when the kids are complete morons. A few weeks ago was one such day. One of those morons left a banana peel on the floor in front of the office. I was the one who slipped on it. I went crashing down to one knee. No injuries to report, just a little bruise to my knee and a big bruise to my ego. 20 minutes later, as I was walking to one of the classes I was covering, a group of the kids were standing around and one of the little jerks pops off and says "That was the one who slipped on the banana peel." Lots of laughter followed. Being the adult I am, and also being in a position of limited authority, I promptly turned around and let them know it was not funny, and second, they "were probably the ones who left the banana peel on the floor in the first place." Absolute silence, except for the coach passing by who was trying not to laugh.

Squids- This one is not as funny, and no morons were involved. Let me start off by saying that I have a seafood allergy. Every year, the biology department at the same HS does a squid lab, and they end it by making calamari. Somehow for the last few years, that is the day when I sub in other science classes. I always went home nauseous those days. This year, I was subbing in Bio. Since I am "just a sub," I usually get out of running the labs. So the first three classes had notes instead of the lab. 4th period came, and the co-teacher said she would be running the lab. Fine.... Herded the students down to the lab (no morons in this class- they are very good), and walked into the room. Eyes start watering, I feel like I am going to throw up, heart's pounding. I step out of the room, and the Science Dept. Chair sees me. I wave him over and tell him whats going on. He sends me to the nurse. My blood pressure was high, and my lips were tingling, a sign of an allergic reaction. I spent the rest of 4th in the nurses, got through 5th doped up on Benadryl, and went home at 6th (the regular teacher's off period). I took another dose of Benadryl and slept the afternnon away. I think this school is trying to kill me;-)

I've got some patterns for knitted dishcloths, and as soon as hubby shows me how to upload them, they'll be posted. Just in time for the other Spring holiday- you know the one with bunnies, not the plagues- I have a bunny face.

Time for a Holiday Rant and Conspiracy Theories

Tis the season to.... beat the living crap out of each other, stand in line of 50 for 30 PS3's or Wii's or whatever, and to give someone somewhere a really good laugh about stupid Americans. Basically folks, it's the least wonderful time of the year, and very few of the people I've seen are actually going to be on Santa's good list. How did I get to be such a Scrooge?? Where to begin-

1. Our beloved Sheltie, Sam, who has been with us for 11 1/2 years, was put to sleep a week before Thanksgiving. He had stopped eating and drinking and was very miserble. Our DS, also 11 1/2, was devastated. DD, at 5, asked for another dog- sensitvity is not her strong suit. DD is the one who when she gets angry at me points out the gray hairs on my head (which she gave me!!).

2.The day after Thanksgiving, as my husband is putting up his tree (I'm Jewish, he's not), I turn on CNN, and see 2 grown men beating the (Thanksgiving) stuffing out of each other over who was in line first . This after all the hoopla of the above mentioned gaming systems and how people stood in line for hours to get on a list, or just get into the store. Folks- if there are 30 units available, and you are # 31, you might as well GO HOME!!! My neighbor stood in line for 4 hours to get on the waiting list for the Wii. She was #9 out of 10. Her son has already been given the system, so there will be nothing under the tree for him. Being Jewish, IF I had even bought the system for my son, I would have doled out each piece over the 8 nights- make the excitement last longer;-) (console the first night, electrical cord the last night)

3. Conspiracy Theory #1- The companies that make these hard to find toys/gaming systems actually have an adequate stock, but are holding it back just to get a good laugh at how much we are willing to pay for the stupid things, and to what lengths we will go to to get one- including fighting. After the holidays, these companies are going to flood the market with the systems, adn the price will go down dramatically.

4. Conspiracy Theory #2- All the video footage that is being shot of this holiday frenzy (read stupidity) is secretly being recorded by the Chinese and shown in some re-education center where they make these toys to show their fallen comrades how bad capitalism really is!! Someone is also getting a good giggle over the amount of tape and twist ties are on the dolls I buy for my DD. It takes major surgery to remove them from the box.

Rant over. If you are wondering about my plans for the rest of the year, remain hidden secretly laughing at all the stupidity out there- and despairing over the fact that there is no peace on earth, goodwill toward man, or woman.

What to Blog???

I still have nothing to blog. I have to figure out how to upload my pics and patterns. Give me a few more days, and hopefully I'll have it all figured out.

Up and running

Well, here goes- I'm blogging. Let's see how this works out. Maybe it will inspire me to create some more knitting patterns, and post the ones I've already created. More tomorrow...