The Dangers of Tostitos...

...or it's just not my year, this year. So far this year, I have slipped on a banana peel, had a serious reaction to squid, had my rear car window smashed by an errant golf ball by some idiot who thinks he's Tiger Woods, and to top it off, I am now unable to leave my house thanks to a Tostitio. Here's the story-

Monday, the maids came (I'm spoiled) and cleaned the house- vacuumed and such. My 12 yo DS is a total slob. The rug on his side of the kitchen table is littered with all kinds of food particles. I try to clean it up as often as possible, but DH lost the cord to the rechargeable vacuum!! So, Monday night, I ask DH to get out the Halloween decorations so I can start putting them up. He disappears into the black hole- our garage- and I am left playing food referee with the kids. Basically, this means telling them to get back into the kitchen with their food. DD tried to sneak Cheezits in, but got caught, and as I am sending her back to the kitchen, I notice that DS is trying to hide a snack from me. I tell him to get back into the kitchen. I notice DH struggling with a box, so I get up and head to the back door. That's when the Tostito's decided to stage an attack. I put my right foot down on one the size of a quarter that DS has obviously dropped, and my right leg goes shooting out in front of me. I land on the floor in a half split in extreme agony. DH rushes in and I tell him to call 911 because I think I broke my leg. Ambulance arrives, good friend arrives and takes kids upstairs, and I am whisked away to the ER. At 41, I haven't done splits in over 20 years. Morphine, Toradol and Phenergan ease the pain. X-rays reveal no broken bones. I'm sent home on crutches and "good drugs."

So, I have been housebound ever since. It hurts to drive. It hurts to sit. It hurts to lay down. It hurts to walk. I have been doing mindless knitting and crochet to pass the time. At the rate I am going, all my holiday knitting might be done by Thanksgiving. "Always look on the bright side of life..."